Husband by love and sweet – talking and elegance.

One of the successful actors in cinema came to me about worries have appeared

To him after 3 A.M I asked him: "why are you worry?" and he answered:

At this special time, more than hundreds topics make me upset. About all affairs that are better for me to do, affairs that I can do them or I should run them.

I think, what will happen, what will be. I struggle with little stresses – during the day, but

at night, the biggest problems will face me." I asked him:

Has something bad happened to you? He said: no; No special one, I have in my

Life, but I ’m worry anyway, and this makes me upset.

There are so many worries that millions of people are facing .but worries are not always harmful and destructive.   if we foresee the problems, then worry in this

Case will be fruitful. It means, sometimes we must be worry, but, much stresses and poisonous worries are not only necessary but also useless.

Toxic stress is a kind of imaginative poisonous disease. This one makes us not to enjoy being with family and friends, health and other affairs related to us.

Because, destructive thoughts always cause fear and horror like; something is not going right. And this fear will always be in our lives.


These kinds of worries often derive from bad interpretation of truth and cause person to lose his futurism sence. For instance: one person is said that his private company is being bankrupted; he thinks unconsciously

Oh my god, I ’m nothing but a dead creature and I feel, I ’m an out of sense meat He supposes that he is losing his favorite job, the worst deductions come to his mind and he has challenge with them.  When a person is defeated to solve a problem, it seems that, he has forgotten that human doesn’t have any power against some problems. Imagine that you have got stuck in traffic and you are  Worry to miss an important meeting or you will be late, you intuit the buses around you, you curse them, and you roam in the crowded cities, learn to experience defeat.

When a problem faces to you, it seems that you want to control some thing, is out Of your access, what do you think? Do you think you are the absolute power?


You can relax yourself with different ways, my old teacher "Dr Tomas Ganil":

Tought me a valuable way how to get along with stress. He tought me:

"Never be upset and worry alone" sit at a corner and we are upset for a subject, this loneliness can increase the worries, surely you can understand the

Depth of the fact, even when you find someone to sympathize, you learn how to speak with you. Erson beck "creative psychiatrist, made a method called "epistemological psychotherapy". In this method, person reminds all his mental habits and but instead of entering same negative thoughts like:

"I ’m really broke" he can learn some different ways of thinking I mean, positivism.

Like each other:

Where should we start from? For a start, when you hear a bad news, try to control your unconscious thoughts. Then, check wrongs that are in this thoughts logically and think about other more rational theories. Ask yourself that what your deductions are based on. Can you think about another theory, brings about interesting and good results.

In second step, try to understand the facts, leave the stresses based on imagination and illusion. And catch the realities and next step; recognize how much these deconstructive thoughts can change your view to yourself and your lives. Do you think you are a loser?

Say prayer with your god:

If you study and check your unconscious thoughts, you can alter the view that always brings about sadness and depression. You should start and try to exercise continuously, so; you recognize that it always helps you.

And it should be said: epistemological psychotherapy is a saving rope that saves human from well of stresses with truth hook and removes deviant ideas that he himself has created. This is called epistemological psychotherapy.

Actor has made changes in his life and use the method. He has provided a notebook and notes them in it while sleeping. And makes a list of problems that

worries him next day morning. This causes stresses and confusions to leave him without helping and sleeps in relaxation he has understood that he should accept everything in its right way. As, there are some cases for removing hiccup; there are some ways to overcome daily stresses. But, using any of these ways is not enough alone.


Organize your life:

Exercise. Run for a distance or play tennis with your friend, you will certainly

Feel upset after a short time. Exercising will remove completely aggressiveness

And reduce tension, increase health, make your sleeping relaxed and finally, make you concentrate on anything. Exercising is the best and the most effective means that we can use it against worry.

  • Breathe deeply: Controlled breath can reduce anxiety. Breathe deeply, and slowly bring the air out. This can make you relaxed for a time. Now, it you have some deep breaths, you will feel better. Try also to learn good ways of breathing to control anxiety.

  • Setting relationship with friends: Have connection with others. You should know yourself a member of a group that is bigger than you. Have connection with family, friends, different institutes, neighbors and people you meet at the church, mosques or at your work. If you associate with different people, you will lose your abilities.

  • Do your favorite things

  • eat your food with family, read book loudly for children and talk to your neighbors. Having connection and association with people is a way that recommended to stand against anxiety.

  • Say prayer with your god. Say prayer everyday. Studies show that there is less sadness among believer people. Remember this sentence forever: "go ahead and leave your work for god. The power belongs to god, leave it for him and let him control the affairs." And  you can think deeply in creatures as well. And do spiritual contemplation. Say prayers with god and revelation are affairs can cause not to ignore the realities. In fact, they make us to see everything with a real view. These can relax our mind and spirit.

  • Organize your life. Many of daily stresses are related to disorder. What have I forgotten? What have I lost? What have I neglected. Make a list of your things to alter your affairs and plan a daily schedule. For example: put a special basket in front of your house door for your car keys. because, you will not waste your time, looking for it impatiently and with full of tension. The value of this basket is equal to some tranquilizer pills that you can use It for standing against stresses which you face daily when you lose your keys. These affairs reduce surprisingly the time you spend for destructive and useless stresses.

Do your favorite things.

Do your favorite work. If you do something that enjoy it, it is impossible for destructive and harmful stresses to face you.

Don’t pay attention to unpleasant news!

The media often spread unpleasant news and annoy people with their sorrowful stories. If you don’t put away reading and listening such news, you will certainly have more and

more stresses,

Like others!

If you always behave people kindly and mildly, they also do their jobs better and in a good manner. We are social existings and we can not do our work lonely and in isolation corner. Always do favor for someone you like. Your children are the most valuable existings who need your sincere kindness and patting.

  • Have connection with others.

  • Stand up. As soon as you understand destructive and poisonous thoughts have surrounded you, save yourself from this trouble? Do this slowly. Stand from your place, walk, talk to your friend and throw yourself away from any kind of stress, It’s more difficult for you to get rid of.

  • Listen to music. Listening to music in the ways that have not been discovered yet, can reduce anxiety and tension. Always listen to music at home and sing. Singing and worry  at the same time is impossible. If you like, you can murmur these sentences:

  • What’s the advantage of anxiety? Being anxious is certainly useless, so, put your problems in your old box of things and laugh laugh, laugh:

  • Cry loudly, sometimes, worry comes out of a frustrated stress, sometimes our feelings and affairs; that we want to do can cause crying. Crying loudly removes all worries from your mind page.

  • Laugh. Laugh as much as you can. Kidding and joking are the best ways you can Use against stress and anxiety. Even in the hardest time, laughing is effective.

  • Poisonous stress causes us not to have a realistic opinion for problems and difficulties while kidding leads our mind to truth again.

  • And finally, don’t involve yourself in small and trifle problems and always remember, if you have a comprehensive opinion about problems, all big difficulties will be small in your eyes.

Written by: Dr Edward Rom Holon